The Damaging Effects of Low Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the regards in which you hold yourself. Have a healthy dose of it---and you dramatically increase your chances of having a happy, well-balanced life. Without it, you risk living a life of shame, misery, and poor health. If you believe that you are unimportant, that your life is meaningless, and that your wants and needs don't matter, you will not be able to attract the best things that life has to offer.

Happiness and Health

People with low self-esteem sometimes come from abusive backgrounds in which they may have been constantly put down by their parents, friends, peers, or lovers. After awhile, they begin to believe the negative things that these people say to them such as: you're not pretty enough, smart enough, or that you won't amount to much of anything. One or both parents may have been physically unavailable as well. These children continue to believe these things about themselves well into adulthood and subconsciously or consciously live their lives according to these beliefs. They are pessimistic about life and often have a hard time seeing the good in any situation, no matter how good or bad it may be. They also have a hard time having enjoyable life experiences. For example, they are sometimes the only one who is unable to relax and have fun at a party where everyone else is laughing and joking. As a result, they may suffer from depression, poor posture, shame, and guilt.

Relationships

Because they don't feel that they deserve anything and that they are not worthy of love and affection, people with low self-esteem are at risk of getting emotionally involved with people who are self-destructive and who don't have much to offer to other people. They find themselves in relationships with people who are emotionally, physically, and financially unavailable over and over again. And, they push away people who are generally warm and caring. Because of their inability to stand up for themselves, they get taken advantage of by people who are supposed to care about them. When they are able to make new friends, they soon often find themselves alone again because of their negative attitude and their inability to enjoy life. The opposite sex may find them boring because they are unable to talk about themselves and their interests.

Employment

Because of their low opinion of themselves and inability to believe in themselves, these people sometimes accept the first job that comes along---even if they are qualified for something better.( Afraid that will not be able to out do their competition.) Lacking the initiative at work, they often don't do any more than they are told to do---fearing they will make a mistake. Therefore, they are often passed up for job promotions and raises. They are often unhappy at work because they are not doing what their heart desires.

A Better Day

People who suffer from low self-esteem can benefit from affirming that they are lovable and worthy individuals.. They should learn to love and care for themselves instead of waiting for others to validate who they are.